Wednesday, October 31, 2001
I'm a slut I guess, Score of 29
uh oh
Di-Havana Fales [1:20 PM]
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a
good chance I am bi. Freakiness pumps
through my viens, but I can still laugh
at myself.
Take the GOTH Test at Fuali.com!
I AM 51% PUNK.
The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. I
may be able to maintain a train of thought
long enough... What the fuck was I talking
about?
Take the PUNK/POSER Test at Fuali.com!
Di-Havana Fales [12:45 PM]
Thursday, October 25, 2001
I probably work in computers, or a history
deptartment at a college. I never really
fit in with the "normal" crowd. But I have
friends, and this is a good thing.
Take the GEEK Test at Fuali.com!
umm, I'm frightened.
Di-Havana Fales [6:44 PM]
I had this fucked dream
I was laying down listening to you
and you were so sweet
kind and innocent
but when I opened my eyes
You had a gun to my head and a knife to my throat
you didnt look angry
or mean in the least
you had a soft look in your eyes
like you didnt want to
but you just had to hurt me
I didnt understand
But I let you kill me
because I understood you needed to
I didnt ask anything
I just closed my eyes and waited for it
I dont think you wanted to
because when I knew I was gone
I could feel your hand on my stomach and your head on my shoulder
I thought I heard you cry
I know I felt you shudder
and you let a silent tear drop onto my cheek
Di-Havana Fales [6:33 PM]
My mother did the greatest this today. She filed for divorce.
I'm such a...a...teenager...AAAGGHHHH
Oh well, enjoy it while I can right?
On the bathroom wall next to a urinal in a local school was posted a picture of Bin Laden with "I'm a Peon" emblazoned across the bottom in bright ink. Now thats comedy! While I can understand how people can find it a touchy subject, let it go! Its funny shit! Wouldn't you just love to see Bin Laden walking around town with a sign on his back that says "I'm a Peon" in bright pink? Pure comedy I say!
And we all know Diana's word is supreme, right. (at this time I'd like to reinstate that I am in fact a teenage girl who will rip your throat out if you get in the way of me and happiness)
All together now, "Diana is ruler of all that is good and evil alike..."
Di-Havana Fales [4:40 PM]
it must be so obvious
when you look into my eyes can’t you see my soul
crying out for you
that look in your clear blue eyes
tells me everything I need to know
and your voice
tells me everything I want to hear
murmuring sweet nothings into my heart with your touch
your hand caresses my cheek
and pushes my hair from my eyes
moments like these emblazoned upon my memory forever
to be remembered in old age
as the wonderful folly of youths puppy love
puppy love which blossoms into a love to last an eternity
Di-Havana Fales [12:58 PM]
So I got dumped lol. He didn't want to feel as if he was "holding me down" in his absence, but if I'm still in love with him in 4 months when he comes back, then we'll get back together. *sigh*
I gotta find a friend whos willing to pose as my boyfriend, so people will leave me the hell alone. I call one of my friends and tell her, the first thing out of her mouth is "really? that sucks, but hey I know this guy that you would just adore!". All I could think to say was "Ummm no thanks".
Wrote this about you long ago, Jeremy, enjoy!
I'm losing you
little by little
I can feel your heart slipping from my grasp.
my apologies
never mind why :)
I hope my heart can let go as easily as yours
I'm sick of all these guys always falling in love with me
telling me that they love me
but when I fall in love its with the one
the one that will never love me
but he'll lie about it
so I get in deeper than I thought I would anyways
Theres one that never loved
and lied
but didn't ever mean to hurt me
he'll drift in and out of my life forever
ahh another
never lied
I'll still love him forever
just as he loves me
that was the best experience I've ever had with a man
Damn his parents for taking him away from me though
one last still lied for no reason at all
just to spite me
not that I didnt deserve it
but I will still have trouble letting him walk away
which he will someday soon
Maybe I'll get lucky
and he'll keep coming back
maybe I'll finally be able to let him go
We'll see
I don't want to lose one of them
not even one
they're all in my heart
If I'm in theirs or not
Di-Havana Fales [12:56 PM]
I realized tonight
Just how much I’ve missed him
He’s never meant anything to me
Ever before
It feels so weird to want him
I mean
Its not even like I want him
I just want that feeling I get
I didn’t realize I got that feeling
Or even missed it
Until I started having this dream
We’re just sitting together for hours and hours
not even talking
just sitting there in an empty theatre
so comfortable
with one of his arms around me
not even talking
its recurring
last night when I had it I dreamt that right before it faded away
I kissed his neck
and he just kind of squeezed my shoulder
and looked at me with a soft look in his eye
he made me shiver
and I was so happy
to be with him
to touch him
to be in love with him
but I’m not in love with him
I really quite don’t know what to think
I’ve always liked him as a good friend and all
but now that I haven’t seen him for months
its kind of more
Why didn’t I see this when we were together every day?
one hour
every day
for one hundred and eighty four days
shouldn’t I
couldn’t I
have seen it then?
or maybe in those countless hours we spend together
laying together in my bed
watching TV in the middle of the night
I had my chances
I didn’t know I wanted them until now though
oh for those times little past
those times that are now gone
for every missed opportunity
I hope there is another one given to us
there are thousands of hours gone
millions of minutes
billions of seconds
every one a chance
every one a hope
a dream
a gift
Di-Havana Fales [12:37 PM]
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
The next time I'm even tempted to believe a word a teacher says: GAG ME WITH A SPOON (Gotta teach me somehow right?).
I asked a woman wearing a badge stating that she is an employee here at school, which is what all of the teachers wear, if I could print off flyers for my party...SHE SAID YES. As long as I brought my own paper it shouldnt be a problem.
So I make the copies (100 or so) and am almost done when a "Library assistant" walks up and tells me that he needs to see an administrator note for me to finish making these copies.
(Heres where I transform into an evil alien turn around and ask him where his note that says he can ask me ANYTHING is, god don't I wish)
Fine, I went to the office and went through this whole spiel. The "teacher" was wrong. Now I have to pay the school a couple dollars to get my copies back. Grrrrr...why do they want it to be so complicated?
Di-Havana Fales [1:27 PM]
Tuesday, October 23, 2001
John that was great, that whole story thinger, was awesome, I'm honored at being complimented by you!
oh dear lord it just never ends!! lol, the girl next to me is high off her ass, its hilarious, I really just want to mess with her mind, but I'm not quite evil....yet.
Di-Havana Fales [12:59 PM]
Monday, October 22, 2001
Oh the anticipation, he might be back! I won't know until late tonight to tomarrow afternoon.
God I just can't wait to see my Jakers again.
God I sound like a stalker.
Gotta love me though.
Di-Havana Fales [1:07 PM]
Saturday, October 20, 2001
In case anyone was wondering, the donut won, I ate it about three minutes ago.
Di-Havana Fales [6:24 PM]
Deep in a sweet dream when suddenly sweetness turns from the dear kisses of a lover to the beckoning of a donut that softly calls your name from the refridgerator downstairs.
In Other Words THERES A DONUT DOWNSTAIRS AND I WANT IT.
Well damn me if thats not the stupidest thing to write.
Di-Havana Fales [6:05 PM]
Friday, October 19, 2001
You say you need a drink? Well my son, you've come to the right place. Go see Satan, he'll give you a sex on the beach like you've never had before!
Shindig's gonna be great. There is promise of a keg, and much vodka. I hear from the "underground" that theres going to be illegal substances of all sorts as well. Nothing more fun than watching stoned people fall up the stairs.
We stoped our rival school. 25-0. that makes this the 4th year we've beaten them. My senior year I'm going to campaign for our players to just sit down and let Dow win, if they can. Man oh man, they suck!
People have been telling me that they sense me getting some serious peices of ass the first and second. LOL, I think their trying to get me all pumped up for Jakers. Urg I talk about him too much. Hell. I think about him too much.
Damn I have nothing to say.
Di-Havana Fales [9:30 PM]
Horrid attempt at finishing that. Didnt get my point aross correctly. The end was hurried, imperfect. Grrr, whats happening to my writing?
I emailed an old friend last night, his screen name has ben erased. Damnit, I'm losing track of him again. I hate it when I lose the people I love, even if it is just not keeping in touch with them any more.
Possibility of my Jacob coming home monday after next. My anticipation just keeps growing, I can't wait to see him again! Its gotten to the point wherre its hard to remember just how much taller than me he is, and how longs his arms are in comparison to my own.
Musn't jinx myself though, he might not. One of my friends went through 6 months of straight training never returning home. My cousin went to basic for 9 weeks, returned home for two weeks, then went to advanced training for the remaining four months. The difference is my friend is in active duty, my cousin the reserves. Jakers is in the reserve. I can't help but hope.
Di-Havana Fales [7:11 AM]
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Running through a forest full of greed, hate, sorrow and jealousy a man screams in agony. It's all he can do to continue, but he must keep going to prove himself. Prove himself to the demons within who threaten to take over at any moment. Suddenly he realizes he is not alone. Millions of men surround him running with all they have for their survival, none have the realization they are not alone as he suddenly did. Just as quickly as they appeared every man around him faded into nothingness once more. Their screams dying away into the echoing emptiness this man felt inside.
A realization.
"There are no demons and this is all in my mind," he thought. Suddenly he heard footsteps and turned to see what he believed to be truly frightening images racing towards him in a hurried frenzy, each more eager to cause pain than the next. Running again. Faster, stronger, longer, than before. He again perceived a setting, in the mountains this time. Animals raced next to him their eyes urging him on knowing his peril. Comfort was found in the presence of things not hazardous to his being. Then these too faded away leaving him alone with the black uncertain future and the unknown imps of his impeding doom.
Realizing yet again that this was all in his mind and the mischievous sprites did not, could not, should not exist, he stopped. Much to his surprise the demons did not fade when they reached him. Instead they continued through him. Now this amazed and confused the man, so he began running yet again to perhaps understand the continuation of the journey. The journey that only moments before he had been so certain was towards him.
After quite some time and not reaching anything, the man stopped, having satisfied his theory that perhaps the imps ran for reasons none. They continued away from him and he sat in the darkness wondering what was to become of him. Perhaps someone to stumble upon him and explain this place, how he got here, where he was to go, why in the world he could see other beings while in the complete darkness.
After only a few moments more creatures more horrifying than those he muddled to be chasing him came running by, taking no notice of him, and seeming intent on their destination, as the first group had.
This was beyond him. He decided to begin retracing his steps, and turning in the direction from which he came was shocked to discover, his footptrints, as well as those of the sprites were glowing red. He began his journey back into this unknown world, hoping that this was not a trick, and these were indeed his own footprints he so carefully followed. Tossing a quick look over his shoulder he noticed that every step he took in the direction he came from made the glowing mark from his own foot disappear.
He reached the end of the tracks after much walking and running, in his horror he has run further than he had ever dreamed he could. As he made contact with the last marking there was suddenly much light. At first it was too bright to open his eyes. After a moment though it faded and he could see his surroundings.
Everything he had been running from was around him still running, their eyes had not been opened yet. He could see their visions, thoughts, fears, everything that flowed through their minds. They were as frightened as he had been, they all thought they were being chased, just as he had.
Confusion set in. Why were they all so afraid? Then he saw the animals again they came to him and spoke.
"These individuals all believe they are being chased, they did not realise as you did that there was no end to it," stated the first of the animals, a grey wolf with eyes that sparkled blue.
"Their bravery does not allow them to give their bodies rest, all they fear is death, more than death, they fear pain. In life they thought hell would be a place full of demons who torture you. A place of eternal flame and heat. Such a place I tell you now, does not exsist," continued the second, this a mouse that perched atop the nose of the wolf with no fear of him. A third steped up, the mans eyes had not quite adjusted to the light yet and could not see the details of this creature, from the messege the thing brought him he believed it was good he did not see.
"Instead hell is only in your mind, a place where your worst fears come true. It is rare that we stumble upon a person that realises its not worth it. You had the courage to stand up to what you believed was your fate. Also you did not give up when confusion set in, confusion in a place of nothingness is enough to drive a person insane. Your mind has been freed of its boundaries, you no longer know anything for sure, you fear nothing. Only when this happens do you reach Nirvana." Spoke the faceless mass, "Now you must face your greatest enemy."
"You have overcome your greatest terrors" congratulated a faceless man, "It is now time to face every mans greatest enemy."
"Yeah?" replied the man, feeling slightly cocky at being one of the few to make it this far, "What would that be my good man?"
Again everything around him faded. The beings he thought so foolish only moments before he suddenly wished to again join.For he was standing on a sphere with a man who he could not see yet, but he knew enough to dread him.
"Every mans greatest enemy is himself." Boomed the faceless man from an unseen place.
Yeah right. Thought the man.
"Your kidding right?" He screamed back at the man he could not see, "I'm not my own worst enemy, I love myself!"
And he thought this was true, until he realised there would be no answer. He was alone with the one man who knew all of his secrets. He turned slowly, not wishing to see his own face staring back at him. God how he wished he would see nothing when he turned around.
But no, face to face with his own worst enemy he was. Suddenly he knew only one thing was true.
He was in his own personal hell.
Di-Havana Fales [8:13 PM]
Haven't seen the Hobbit for years, am I missing out?
Why isn't the damn doctor ever available when you need him? Every time I've called in to see when he's going to be available they always say to call back at {time} on {date}. What? Don't we pay him well enough!?!?!?
Ok so quitting my job until I'm A+ ceritfied wasn't a good idea. I'm broke, don't have insurance, and am sssiiiccckkkk. Can't I just quit high school and find a nice hole to sink into?
Seriously, a family doctor isn't a "highly" paid doctor, but the averege is 160,000. Tell me if I'm wrong but thats not too shabby. Considering the total of what everyone in my house-hold makes is 12,250 a year.
Di-Havana Fales [1:27 PM]
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
I'd decided, with the help of everyone around me, that my eye is in fact, the spawn of satan.
My new nickname is Damien.
Di-Havana Fales [1:24 PM]
Tuesday, October 16, 2001
*SNIFF, BLINK, BLINK, SCREAM, SNIFF AGAIN*
I'm sick as a dog. My eye is irritated as hell (its so red everybody has been asking if I have pink eye, fortunatly no, my contact irritated my eye whilst I did slumber, damnit). And its the 7th hour of the day, thank god its almost over. (At least I have the benefit of looking evil, or hung-over, either way people have been staying out of my way for the most part)
My e-mail was Full of junk mail. My friends know I don't have a keyboard or mouse and can't buy another one, therefore rendering me unable to check my mail on weekends. So why do they send me forwards? Damn, like I'm not bitchy enough to them.
Man, and I was looking all decent today and shit too. Wore a nice shirt, pants that weren't huge on me (I am a size 11, I wear 14's, its all about comfort) and did my hair, and then my eye tripped out on me. Now I look like the chick from the exorcist would have, if she had been wearing something other than pajamas.
I don't normally focus so dearly on my looks and/or clothes, but man, the one day I make an effort, I just gotta wonder what my inspiration to ever try again is.
Di-Havana Fales [1:20 PM]
Friday, October 12, 2001
AH HA! I've got it mastered, lol. Stupid school computers (again). So are we really at war with afghanistan? as in really ans truly at war?
One of my friends brothers got deployed the other day, frustrating to think all the people I've known my entire life are going off to different countries to protect and serve their country, possibly to never come back.
As Jakes brother loves to say...
Bleh
Di-Havana Fales [1:27 PM]
There used to be a link that said how to post a link, and it disappeared, GRRR.
Di-Havana Fales [12:17 PM]
I told my mother today she can't legally kick me out, because I'm not 18...she knew I was right and didn't say a word when I stopped home before school. Apparently her friend also got her to realise she flipped out and it wasnt my fault. What really pissed her off....her couselor was on my side.
On Halloween I'm throwin a bash, tehe. I told my mother I was going to have one friend over to pass out candy, try again. She promised she'd leave until 2 a.m. haha. I'm setting up this shindig with two other people, we each go to different schools. Two in this city, one in the next over. Major advertising is gonna be going on in the few weeks we have before the 31st. It'll take the whole weekend ahead of halloween to decorate, then an extra hour before to get all the black lights and music ready. Great fun.
Ahh well, on to my next class, weight training, funnnnnn....
Di-Havana Fales [8:42 AM]
Thursday, October 11, 2001
Who in hell is Brian Molko?
Di-Havana Fales [1:11 PM]
If it could hardly get worse (without killing or maiming me) then it has to get better right?
I slept all day yesterday, I was too far gone to deal with people. I'm still not ready for other people's bullshit but I'm further along than I was yesterday.
Everybody was telling stories about Levi today. It wouldnt be bad if they were spreading true information, but they aren't. I talked to his mother, she explained everything to me. Its so hard to get the truth into someones head after they have been hearing lies for two days. Poor Guy, yes I do grieve for the families of the victims, but I knew Levi (the guy that killed them), saw him grow up, and am shocked at the other nights events.
So won't somebody explain to me why the general public is STUPID?
School computers suck ass, I'm sick of them. Half of what is typed does not show up on the screen, and you have to go back and fix everything..
Di-Havana Fales [12:08 PM]
Tuesday, October 09, 2001
Last night three people were killed, stab wounds. The man that killed them lives two doors down from me. He is only 20 years old, and although he was "creepy" never showed signs of being a danger before. Damn, that could've been me he killed.
How fragile are we?
Di-Havana Fales [5:31 PM]
lol, found some old posts of Johns I loved so much I had to put them on my e-mails as signatures. The pure truths in these quotes struck me as hilarious, or maybe I was just giddy. Either way. Thanks John for making parts of my day so much better than they were.
Man I just can't break away from the thought of "oh god, I don't have a place to sleep". This lack of security kills me. I just want somebody to be protective of me, thats all.
I also crave children. Every night I go to sleep thinking about it. I dream of the day that my children will play with their father and fall asleep comfortable, warm, and secure in a happy home.
I pray that will come sooner than it seems it will.
Di-Havana Fales [12:57 PM]
So this morning I got up and got ready for school. My mother got up and started breaking my stuff, not only breaking it, but on me. (I have a huge bruise on my wrist from my (now broken) radio). She told me to never come back when I left for school. I told her everything that I've wanted to tell her for at least five years. And now I don't know what to do. I have friends and all, but all but maybe three are full up (siblings and friends already living with them) (the ones that have room are in a different system, and wouldnt allow me to attend my school while living there) I'm going to call my brother and my friend Jeremy while my mother is at work (run up her phone bill lol) see if either of them can help me out. Only problem there is I wouldn't be able to attend school...they both live in different cities. One of my friends is going to get me the papers to have the court force my mother to give legal custody to Rhonda (Kimi's mother, shes more of a mother to me than my own has been in all the years of my life) But I'm so lost until that happens, I don't know where I'm sleeping tonight. I don't know where I'll be next week. ooo the frustration of having bi-polar parents. (It runs in the family to be bipolar(both sides), and while neither of them has officially been diagnosed, anyone that has close ties to the family knows that the tendancies are there).
I really appreciated the e-mail David. I'd appreciate you kicking my fathers ass for me next time I have to put up with his bullshit. Hopefully I won't be forced to move in with him in the absence of another place to go.
I don't have any classes this hour. I'm enjoying sitting here mulling over all the shit I have to fix tonight.
Urg.
Di-Havana Fales [12:21 PM]
I'm unsure of how to get pictures on the blog yet. I have them scanned in and ready to go, hopfully I'll et it figured out soon. ANyone who wants to see them now can either post their address, or e-mail me at: falesdk@student.mps.k12.mi.us -- but I have to get abck to class.
Di-Havana Fales [8:43 AM]
Monday, October 08, 2001
Thank god Kimi went home. Its not that I don't love her. But I find it incredibly frustrating to listen to her and know that 50% of what she says is a lie. Oh well. I'm going to have to get used to it since I'm moving in with her in 10 months (if only the court grants my application for emancipation). I'm certainly looking forward to it.
Ugh, I just looked at my planner, Jacob finishs Basic training monday after next, but then goes straight to advanced training. Two months down, four to go.
Looking at GoArmy.com hes going through Victory Forge right now. I can't imagine why he would really want to be a part of this. I'm happy for him though, if he can make it through this I know he could make it through anything. Especially since he lost his twin sister in a car accident not long before he left.
Autumn was certainly an original creation, We all love and miss her very much.
I hope he still loves me when he comes back.
Homecoming sucked. It wasnt the people. It simply shouldn't have been so terrible, but I kept thinking about Jacob. Last year we didn't go because he had to work. I promised him we'd go this year, but he left for boot camp. It just felt wrong to be there without him. I hope I didn't ruin anyone else's evening.
I made plans to go spend Thanksgiving with my brother at his cottage in Bid Rapids, where he attends Ferris State. He lives on one of the many lakes in the region. Its going to be some fun.
I'm sure there was something else I wanted to say, its simply escaped me for the moment.
So I sit here and wait to cry, for loss of love for loss of life for loss of family, but most of all for loss of trust. And it just won't come, I crave the gut wrenching sobbing tears to fall down my face, but none come.
Oh I almost had it again, but it disappeared. I hate that.
Di-Havana Fales [1:50 PM]
Sunday, October 07, 2001
Stressful day. Stressful night. I love my brothers more than I ever thought I would.
I wonder if there was no tomarrow if anyone woud give me their today.
Only three weeks ago three of my good friends died, one from an unknown illness. Two in a car accident. I miss them terribly. I love you all.
The strangest and slightest things are making me cry today. I slept with a blanket that no-one but Jacob &I have touched in 6 months, last night. It brought me great comfort, but no closer to having him home again, and in my arms where he belongs.
Di-Havana Fales [11:44 AM]
Saturday, October 06, 2001
Mmmm Cream of Broccolli soup, good stuff. I just got back from visiting one of my older brothers friends from high school. My best friend took me claiming she knew him when we got there the only thing he said to her was "Who in the holy fuck are you?" but carried on quite the conversation with me. I had to laugh.
She (my best friend, Kimi) is downstairs watching Final Destination. I decided watching people die was not my thing, and came upstairs. I'm much calmer today, more ready to face the world. Almost time to start getting dressed for homecoming, something I'm not looking forward to. The game last night was fun, but seeing so many people in the gym isn't going to be a highlight. Oh well I guess.
Thank you so much John! No one has ever called me intelligent before. Its spellled Pheromones I believe by the way as well as its de nada, two words, Yes I know spanish, and yes I failed the class. I guess the fact that I know how to spell pheromones says something about my intelligence though. Ah well. I watched the kid (ok his name is Jake, so thats what I'll call him from now on, It sounds so silly to say "that kid that smells good") playing football last night. Hes the coaches son. He and the kid who I call Jorge (his last name is Landowsky I think, but I turned around on the stairs and said to the person nearest to me that their name in "My World" was Jorge, he said ok and its been such ever since) anyways he and Jake smacked each other on the ass then turned and waved at me. Are they trying to say something by so immediatly turning around to look at me? I'll have to ask Tuesday.
My father is fairly insane, this morning just before he knew my mother was going to go out and have some fun for once, he called and left a messege that would have gotten her all stressed out, luckily I deleted it before she heard it. Hes such an ass. If he ever lifts a hand to me again I will be calling the police, last summer he threw me across the kitchen, and nothing was done about it. The police are so full of shit. Anyways to answer your question (is my father as insane as yours) probably. Hes also Manic-depressive and an alchoholic, not a good combination.
I was just told to pick up my clothes by Kimi. She sounded exceptionally like my mother. Rather frightening.
I guess I should go clean the kitchen (I made Kimi breakfast). People are so picky! At least she is, ugh.
Di-Havana Fales [1:06 PM]
Friday, October 05, 2001
Today was an exceptionally "TEHE!" day. By "TEHE" I mean I may as well be a skinny little girl in a skirt hopped up on some drug that companies need to start putting in the coffee filters to keep their workers perky and motivated. I ditched my best friend at my schools football game to hang out with my exceptionally tall, odd friend, Big Scary John we call him. Hes been known to ask people for their souls, but when it comes down to it, hes a teddy bear. He gave me his sweatshirt when he noticed I was cold, even though he was obviously cold too. I love guys like that. What ever happened to chivalry anyways?
I have a crush on the guy that smells good. He smells like the love of my life "Jacob" who is off at boot camp, being trained to kill me at any given moment in time with any possible tool (Spaghetti noodle, grass, my own hair, etc.).Why does that happen? Crushes I mean, esp. when you've been without your significant other for a long period of time, and know they will be gone for much longer. I've found myself staring off into space, deciding whether I like the smell better or the fact that he doesn't talk. (When he talks I've heard that hes the biggest jackass, good thing I'm having an affair with his scent, not his personality). I think I'm giddy.
Its 1 in the morning and I'm in the middle of watching Sparkler. My best friend is asleep on the couch, snoring quietly. I'm waiting for my older brother to come home, he always shows up in the middle of the night, a loveable quirk. My dog is scratching an itch, and I'm fighting off the urge to smack her for her incessant "slurp snort huff* .
I'm about to get booted anyways so I'm off to finish my movie.
Maybe when Scott shows up he'll have some vodka for me, mmmm...
Di-Havana Fales [11:49 PM]
Looking forward to it John. I'll never speak with our Marine Recruiter here at Midland High with quite the same thoughts in mind. Thank you for the warm welcome.
Jesus Christ my spelling was bad yesterday. At least my point got across.
No such thing as a private conversation huh? Thats great, no fear of rejection..yessss.
I dislike everybody being taller than I am. And its not even that people are actually taller than me, but I percieve them to be. I grew up with two brothers one is 5'11" the other is at least 6' (not to mention my lover is a towering 6'3, how intimidating is that). Thats quite tall compared to my 5'7. But I was never exposed to girls my age, other than those at my small school where we we're only involved with 20 other kids for nearly 6 years, who were shorter and fatter than I was. Now that I'm in high school and I really look around I'm a beastly kid. I'm not fat, but I'm certainly not skinny either, and wow do I feel chubby around some of these kids.
I pushed some kid out of my way yesterday going up the stairs, he went flying into the wall. Just call me Shira...
My mother loved her cake. Sung happy birthday and took some pictures. Something that hasn't happened peacefully since I was born (my birth is synonymous with my father going insane). I just wish my brothers could have been there, would have made it a more complete experience for her.
I can't wait for the day after christmas. One of my friends will return from boot camp that day. (I have a "Don't drop your soap in the ARMY" bumper sticker all ready for his truck) I haven't seen him since graduation last year, amazing how the people that you know the least have the greatest impact on your lives.
Homecoming is this weekend, I have a purple dress that is covered in sparkles. At the sarcastic suggestion of my friend Sammi I am going to wear an old officers jacket from WWII over it. (If anyone wants to see when I get pictures back I'm more than willing to share) The olive color matches perfectly, I hate wearing dresses (therefore Sammi's suggestion that I wear the full uniform, I feel that would be a little too dressy for the occasion), and besides its going to be snowing brrrrr..*teeth chattering*...
When did life get so complicated?
Di-Havana Fales [8:29 AM]
Thursday, October 04, 2001
That was relaxing. Nothing better than a hot shower after a long day of listening to teachers. My mother turned 40 yesterday, I made her a cake about an hour ago. Not that I don't love cookling, but it certainly leaves me with a crick in my neck.
Not to intrude on what could possibly be conversation between private indiviaduals, but John I agree with you on the memorial. In my mind somehow its more symbolic to have a constant reminder of what could happen to us at any time, rather than to re-build and (it seems) forget what happened.
Well, my mother will be home soon, time to go light the candles and tune up the piano.
Wishing all a good night.
Di-Havana Fales [6:35 PM]
Wow, my first post, awesome. I feel so accepted. Nothing new though, most of the time its kind of a harrassing experience to be accepted. Filled with claps on the back, slaps on the ass, and my all time favorite..."Hey! Your the new chick right!?!?!?!?" So far so good though. I first stumbled upon Drunkenfish while doing a half-assed search for a U.S. History paper, and became completely engrossed in John's "I could have been a Marine: Part 1". Since I've been searching through other posts and decided I'd love to be a part. I decided I'm going to make this first post the geekiest most "Oh my god what a loser" post I'll hopefully ever make. Well, thanks to Ben for making this happen! Its time to go take a nice long warm shower. Its been a long day.
Di-Havana Fales [5:54 PM]
testing 1....2...3....
Benjamin Emerson [5:00 PM]
