someone told me to read the old testament and replace every reference to God or gods with the word extraterrestrial. I started doing this. than I stopped. things were beginning to make sense and become obvious. I've thought about doing this with other religious text, but I'm afraid of what I might find. I'm still thinking about it. I'm also thinking that there maybe some similarities between UFO abductions and experiences of "profits". I'm a little afraid to go outside. I don't know who is listening to my thoughts.

ben. ben? giving up on me. going to delete me? who are you? what have you done with the real ben? I am out to sea doing my part for freedom and democracy and ben, or whoever you are, wants to delete me from the bog world cause I hadn't bogged.

it's Saturday night. really it's Sunday morning. I can't sleep. I live this exciting life? I got pulled over for speeding earlier this morning. I never see those fuckers coming. I hate cops. I especially hate sheriffs. it feels good to say that. I hate cops. they always ask stupid questions. like "do you know how fast you were going?" does he really think I know? I'm driving I got other things on my mind than how fast I am going or what lane am I in or what's that in front of me. I always say the same thing, not that I get pulled over a lot, I say,"you would know better than me." so he clocked me doing 95 going north on highway 70. I should have been going 70 on highway 95. I get confused. besides I got other things to think about besides what I am doing behind a wheel. it a complicated story because the cars not in my name and my current insurgence card is here at the apartment with all the other unopened mail that was delivered while I was out doing sailor navy stuff. the cop recommended that I slow down and gave me a written warning. he may be a nice guy, but he is still a cop. he may be a good cop but feel I must hold onto my prejudices. i can't let go of the past. i can't forgive.

people matter more than truth.