Thursday, May 13, 2004
AI - as us hip insters call it
AI in the news
This morning AI contestant superstar gravytrain singer Yolanda was literally cohosting the morning 'news' program on channel 5. I literally jumped up & down with excitement with my tongoue literally out of my mouth & then my bowel movement began.
I was wearing boxers with dockers & the force of the feces tore a hole through my boxers. After the initial shit missle, the aftermouth roared out, bubbling up & covering everywhere in my boxers. A full 30 seconds of massive diareah followed streaming down my legs. My pants were ruined as I stood in a pile of human stench as the steam rose up from the once spotless hardwood floors into my nostrils. It was horrible.
But then a minute later I saw Yolanda assisting with the weather. They then zoomed into her hometown of Snellville on the map & got really excited. Oh no - this resulted in massive tension of pure happiness that instantly flowed out of my bowels. It was far worse, the noise alarmed our cats & Melissa ran into the bedroom to see what was going. She screamed with horror at the site of my pants stained from the inside with shit & the floor with streams of diareah flowing down our uneven floor.
She franticlly asked me what is going on, how could I do this? I explained to her that Yolanda from AI was on the news, & that I literally shit in my paints from excitement. She understood. She had, as well as I, shat in our pants - or in Melissa's case, on the doctor - when we had our ultrasound showing our living baby. I only wish I was able to control my excitement, my pleasure - is my curse.
This morning AI contestant superstar gravytrain singer Yolanda was literally cohosting the morning 'news' program on channel 5. I literally jumped up & down with excitement with my tongoue literally out of my mouth & then my bowel movement began.
I was wearing boxers with dockers & the force of the feces tore a hole through my boxers. After the initial shit missle, the aftermouth roared out, bubbling up & covering everywhere in my boxers. A full 30 seconds of massive diareah followed streaming down my legs. My pants were ruined as I stood in a pile of human stench as the steam rose up from the once spotless hardwood floors into my nostrils. It was horrible.
But then a minute later I saw Yolanda assisting with the weather. They then zoomed into her hometown of Snellville on the map & got really excited. Oh no - this resulted in massive tension of pure happiness that instantly flowed out of my bowels. It was far worse, the noise alarmed our cats & Melissa ran into the bedroom to see what was going. She screamed with horror at the site of my pants stained from the inside with shit & the floor with streams of diareah flowing down our uneven floor.
She franticlly asked me what is going on, how could I do this? I explained to her that Yolanda from AI was on the news, & that I literally shit in my paints from excitement. She understood. She had, as well as I, shat in our pants - or in Melissa's case, on the doctor - when we had our ultrasound showing our living baby. I only wish I was able to control my excitement, my pleasure - is my curse.
