Friday, April 09, 2004
Thank you Something Awful
I'm assuming everyone knows & loves Something Awful. I'm not here to preach how brilliant & perfect this website is - but to add to my wishlist. Yes, I'm going to create a wishlist just like all those preteen suburban webwhores. It cost $60 so if some Daddy Warbucks wants me to email a picture of my mantitty I'll do it.
I want this mommy if you're reading this. I admit I wore sports-oriented shirts when I was growing up, but that's because I grew up in a backwards mill town in South Carolina - I didn't know any better. But now I notice everyone is always walking around being a corporate whore. Sorry for being so racial, but Afro-Americans in particular - I understand it must be some source of pride to see so many people of race excelling & making fuckloads of money. But the question must be asked - What the fuck?
This is the fuck: professional sports are corporations, and just as factories - they set the price as far up as dumb fucks are willing to pay (tickets, t-shirts, football shaped phones) & will relocate on a dime if a more profitable opportunity comes up. But here's the catch - they are paraded around like an essential civic oriented good! Every prospering town must have a professional sports team, b/c otherwise they aren't quite 'there'. So taxpayers spend millions to bribe the sports factory to move (even when they had a close civic identity for generations) so the factory can capatilize the situation. And when they want a new corporate headquarters (stadium, arena), the taxpayers better pay up or they'll leave on the drop of a hat.
So you ask - what the fuck? Again, here's the fuck - why don't I see more people wearing Sunbeam Bread Is The Motherfucking Bomb! t-shirts? Personally, I can count on Sunbeam bread satisfying me more than a Asslanta Fuckers game. But I guess this is the age of globalism, we're all a walking billboard for companies - like $10 t-shirts that sell for $50 because they say Tommy Hilfilger & some beat up starving kid in Russia is wearing a Superbowl Shuffle baseball cap.
I want this mommy if you're reading this. I admit I wore sports-oriented shirts when I was growing up, but that's because I grew up in a backwards mill town in South Carolina - I didn't know any better. But now I notice everyone is always walking around being a corporate whore. Sorry for being so racial, but Afro-Americans in particular - I understand it must be some source of pride to see so many people of race excelling & making fuckloads of money. But the question must be asked - What the fuck?
This is the fuck: professional sports are corporations, and just as factories - they set the price as far up as dumb fucks are willing to pay (tickets, t-shirts, football shaped phones) & will relocate on a dime if a more profitable opportunity comes up. But here's the catch - they are paraded around like an essential civic oriented good! Every prospering town must have a professional sports team, b/c otherwise they aren't quite 'there'. So taxpayers spend millions to bribe the sports factory to move (even when they had a close civic identity for generations) so the factory can capatilize the situation. And when they want a new corporate headquarters (stadium, arena), the taxpayers better pay up or they'll leave on the drop of a hat.
So you ask - what the fuck? Again, here's the fuck - why don't I see more people wearing Sunbeam Bread Is The Motherfucking Bomb! t-shirts? Personally, I can count on Sunbeam bread satisfying me more than a Asslanta Fuckers game. But I guess this is the age of globalism, we're all a walking billboard for companies - like $10 t-shirts that sell for $50 because they say Tommy Hilfilger & some beat up starving kid in Russia is wearing a Superbowl Shuffle baseball cap.
