Chicken Monkey Donkey

I am really getting tired of lyrics that don't explicitely state things. I don't want to decipher abstract thoughts. I don't give a shit about simile, metaphor, or analogy. So with that in mind, I will attempt to decipher a song that has been puzzling me for decades, "Afternoon Delight"

Afternoon Delight
( Starland Vocal Band )

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Afternoon delight!

Here is my interpretation of this complex lyrical piece.

Sex In The Afternoon

I need to locate my sex partner and hug her
I want to have sex
My philosophical view is that everything is relative
I believe I should have sex whenever I want to
In particular I wish to view my sex partner fully exposed
Besides I most likely will have sex at night

I am becoming arroused thinking of you in a sexual manner
I want to have sex with you
Our body parts intermingling during sex results in an orgasm
Again, the thought of having sex with you causes me to become arroused
Penis stiffening by arrousal
Sex in the afternoon
Sex in the afternoon
Sex in the afternoon

This morning I woke up without any arroused feeling
I had believed that not being arroused would mean I would not wish to have sex
You are arroused therefore I will have sex with you
Some sex in the afternoon
Penis stiffening by arrousal
Sex in the afternoon
Sex in the afternoon
Sex in the afternoon

Please do not have an orgasm until I do
We have the potential of more orgasms before nightfall

I am becoming arroused thinking of you in a sexual manner
I want to have sex with you
Our body parts intermingling during sex results in an orgasm
Again, the thought of having sex with you causes me to become arroused
Penis stiffening by arrousal
Sex in the afternoon
Sex in the afternoon
Sex in the afternoon

Sex in the afternoon!