Tuesday, July 20, 2004
About Me
-
- Name:Benjamin
- Location:New Orleans, Louisiana, United States
Liberal, Atheist, Nomadic Hermit.
Previous Posts
- Sleep has not been good to me lately. Most of the...
- Published on Wednesday, June 23, 2004 by the Minne...
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- create your personalized map of europe
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- My gosh, this trial finally happened?!?
48 Comments:
"Decker has written many articles on the subject of Aggravated Alcoholic Amnesia. His most recent—”Tips, Hints and Strategies toward a More Manageable Blackout”—will be covered in the course, as well as selected chapters from his new suspense novel, Oh Man, Why Am I Naked, and Bleeding, and Taped to the Dumpster Again?"
i hate when that happens. - jib
I got a friend. His name is Bill W. He'll take you a walkin'; and after only 12 steps, you'll meet someone else. This next person is someone who loves you.
Oh please, let's not bring mythology into this. I have enough fantasy instead of reality in my life.
...in other words, go away you religious freak. Yes, I'm a mean drunk and you are not welcome. Go save yourself somewhere else.
Ha ha!! That was me just fucking with you! LOL Ha ha ha ha!! Oh, your reaction made my fucking day!
I've got tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard. You got to admit, I know my shit!! That would be the greatest AA slogan of ALL TIME. Oh, how I've wasted my life....
Wow - meet a friend after 12 steps, that sounds like fun! And I'd love to know who this Bill W. guy is - he sounds like a crazy cracka'!
Bill W.
good one. I completely fell for that.
Ha ha...thanks, brother. I just wanted to sound like a complete nightmare. So the words just flowed. ;)
Got a plump, sadistic hard-on over that one. Complete with maniacal laughter. What bars do you haunt in Nawlin's? Any famous places? Got pics?
Mimi's is my favorite bar. I'm going to eventually write an article about the N'awlins scene, maybe a bunch of them, for Jeff Colyer's new 'zine he's putting together. Speaking of which, I should be getting on that soon. I'll write more about Mimi's a little later. I have to work a bit here.
Fuckin A! Cool, brother! Lookin' forward to reading it.
cranky, cranky. i think someone needs a drink.
I don't know exactly where this came from, but I have checked out the numbers and it does seem to be fair...
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during the month of January.....
In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the month of January.
That's just one American city, about as deadly as the entire war torn country of Iraq.
When some claim President Bush shouldn't have started this war,
Remind them of the following ...
FDR...
led us into World War II.
Germany never attacked us: Japan did.
From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost,
an average of 112,500 per year.
Truman...
finished that war and started one in Korea,
North Korea never attacked us.
From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost,
an average of 18,334 per year.
John F. Kennedy...
started the Vietnam conflict in 1962.
Vietnam never attacked us.
Johnson...
turned Vietnam into a quagmire.
From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost,
an average of 5,800 per year.
Clinton...
went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent,
Bosnia never attacked us.
He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three times by Sudan and did nothing.
Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions.
In the two years since terrorists attacked us
President Bush has:
- liberated two countries,
- crushed the Taliban,
- crippled al-Qaida,
- put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran and North Korea without firing a shot,
- and captured a terrorist who slaughtered 300,000 of his own people
The Democrats are complaining about how long the war is taking, but...
It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take theBranch Davidian compound. That was a 51 day operation.
We've been looking for evidence of chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.
It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.
It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida!!!!
Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB!
Dude, you seem to have a lot to say - so start your own fucking blog...
Getting too hot for you??? Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Bush is a dick. And a retard.
For anyone interested, I am not Anonymous. Only that one time to fuck with Ben. But I will always admit to any anonymity for sake of the gag or whatever. The reason I explain this is because recently I used the motif, "Bush is a dick." Just don't want anyone to think that I had just posted the last 4 or 5 political ads. Though I don't think they were offensive. Rather, right on. Nevertheless, Brad's point being: "Post it on a website." I agree with that. Though the anonymous person may have wanted to connect here.
I might suggest to the anonymous to simply leave h/er real name. That way no one gets disgruntled.
Accomplishments as president:
Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2.7 million Americans lost their job. No Bush president has ever created one net new job yet.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
Most secretive and un-accountable presidency of any in US history.
Members of cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Chevron oil tanker named after her).
First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law. -- corrected by a viewer who commented that Bush withdrew our signature from the ICC, the International Criminal Court, which is a different body than the "World Court" or ICJ.
Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability. Many people consider me a bigger threat to world peace than Saddam.
First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 911 attacks, successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
The previous list was taken from "topplebush.com"
First, I want to thank John for stating that my comment was "not offensive. Rather, right on." It was nice to get a comment that stems from an open mind. You know, to fully understand something, you do have to look at it from every angle. So again... Thank you John! As for Brad's comment - There is no need to use that kind of fucking language! (Ha Ha - see, I can joke around like the rest of you!!) As far as me posting my name... The fact is, that wouldn't matter - I would still be anonymous to you because you don't know me and I don't know you (except for what I have read on your blogs. Would it matter if my name was Joe Smith, or Sandy Johnson, or Bill Jones? Even with a name, I am still this anomymous person posting to this blog. With that said, I must say that the last post by Benjamin is very impressive. I read every bit of it with my open mind and must say that it is a very bad list (for Bush). Many of those things listed were real eye openers. I thank Benjamin for pointing those things out. Let me ask this question - Wouldn't it be possible for me to find a list like that for any President we have had? Probably. No one is perfect. Everybody is going to have a bad list. (Although, I must say the Mr. Bush's is pretty bad.) If a political party doesn't like you, they will put together a list... no matter what. I'm sure Mr. Bush has a list of "good" things out there as well. Mr. Kerry will have a "list" as well if he get elected. His friends will have the good list and his foes will have the bad list... I guess you just have to have an open mind.
With that said - My name is David White and I am from Indianapolis, Indiana
My point wasn't to argue with your statement, though I disagreed with it. It was primarily to note that you were walking that fine line between meaningful discourse & spam. Due to the fact that the commenty things were concerning drunk blackouts, Bush's policy had very little relevance.
But this isn't my front porch, so I'll get off the rocker.
First off, I don't mind anyone saying anything. (except please don't try to save my soul or tell me drinking is bad for me... this is the DRUNKENFISH!!!)
Secondly, back to the drinking. I wanted to tell John about my bar Mimi's.
Oh why not, I'll do a list. Top 10 things I like about Mimi's.
1. Very diverse mix of people.
2. Hefferweisen, Hefferweisen, Hefferweisen!!! (Paulaner with lemon wedge)
3. The most awesome Tapas I've ever had the experience to dine on.
4. Close to my house (No drunk driving involved)
5. Bartenders always buy me drinks when I help them win arguments with customers.
6. Beautiful bar. Upstairs the doors to the balcony are open and big red cloth curtains are blowing into the room like a cheesy music video. Old crumbly brick French Quarter like bar.
7. One of the bartenders is a goddess. ...and she actually smiles and talks to me. ummm, I'm sure it's not just for the tip. hmmmm.
8. Decent jukebox.
9. The really bad drunks (including me) often talk about metaphysics.
10. Everyone talks to everyone
Hello all, David White here. Brad - Thank you for your comment. I understand your comment now that you expanded on the fact that I was leaning toward spam. Sorry about that. Benjamin: No fears about me trying to save your soul and talk to you about drinking. I too am a big fan of drinking and I hold the same beliefs on religion as you do. I hate it when the bible-beaters try to come and “save” me. Pisses me off, it does.
Mimi's sounds perfect. Love hefe! (Always forget the goddamn lemon wedge though!) Glad you're keeping metasphysics alive and well in N'awlins! Love heffers too. Fat woman rock! Fat-bottomed girls, you! make the rockin' world...go...round? (Sorry, I'm very hungover. Been drinking with Bill W. all night long.) Nah, I was out at City Place.
In keeping with our committment to booze, including David White's acknowledgment as well (glad to have you aboard!) I will tell you what I drank last night (kind of like guys who wish there were a centerfold in Modern Drunkard Magazine):
3 New Castles
3 Grey Goose greyhounds
1 srong-ass Manhattan
1 Grey Goose L'orange martini
3 Amstel Lights
Not even drunk! Sober as a fucking Bush administration appointed judge! Only ran over 6 or 7 people driving home, all Mexicans, so no biggie. Killed some squirrels, ruined lives, shattered dreams, all in a hurry to get to Wendy's Late night menu! Worth it!
Just kidding. I don't know what my deal is lately. but I cannot get "drunk." Sure, I feel good I suppose, but really no different than I usually do. I can't explain this because my history with booze is punctuated with black-outs and jail and all manner of embarrassing stories. Whipping my dick out in the middle of the night, still fast asleep, to piss all over the kitchen floor that I passed out on in my, Jibber's and Ben's apartment in Metarie in 92? I believe...
Anyway, that's just a silly incident. But my point is, I've found this almost disturbing sense of control and tolerance when it comes to "handling my liquor." Is this just what happens to 36-year-old booze hounds? Do we finally learn to drink? YES! We finally fucking do!
That Bush list is just mind-boggling. And I agree with David's comment on how all presidencies could have such lists (pro & cons) but Bush's...holy mother of God! What a sneaky little Anti-Christ! Or as Steve Martin might have put it, circa late seventies: "He's the dickens!" (Hmm...when did "The Jerk" come out. Great flick. Really, I want to see it right now, I'd laugh till I puke.) Why don't I own that one?
Ya read a list like that and you run to the window to see if the sky is still fucking blue...It is where I am. How bout you? Check. I wonder how the hole in the ozone is doing. Did Bush try to fuck it? That piece a shit. One thing I do like about Bush is that he proposed or put in place ZZ TOP day. I loves me some old ZZ Top. Heard Fandango coming home from work on a pirate radio station. We have a few pirate radio stations in Fla. "Heard is on the X" -- I was bashin' the wheel, headed to McDonalds for some good ole Scottish food.
Why can't we have 6 year terms? Why do we need political parties? Why am I nervous with Bush's brother as my govenor? Why am I simultaneously looking forward to and dreading this upcoming election? I need lemon donuts, four of them. When my wife wakes up, I will ask her if she'd like me to drive, in my boxer shorts, to the Dunkin' Donuts drive thru.
I drive around this town in my underwear all the time. I haven't tried driving naked yet. But the other day, I almost did. The walk to my car from my condo is only like 8 steps. The problem is, that would be the day I get a flat. That would be the day an officer of the law pulls me over to tell me my tag expired. That would be the day where, upon getting pulled over, I grow an immense hard-on. The officer steps to the window: "License and registration, please. Holy...Son, you need to step out of the car. Stand here, boy. Yeah, this is car 114, request back-up. Ha ha...yer not gonna believe this. Yeah, we have a caucasion, 6'2", fat, average-to-above average length 6.5" size penis, wider than normal, erect, bulbous, pink & purple, throbbing relentlessly...wait...I'll call you back, just never mind. Son, why don't you jump in the back of my squad car. Yeah, now...I want you to fill out this form while I sniff your anus for drugs. If I find something I will attempt to suck it out through your penis. Please do not interupt this careful procedure."
Jeez, a Sunday morning hangover, latent-homoerotic, police fantasy complete with public admission to penis length, unwarranted, undesired, and completely unredeeming all for anyone who's by chance reading this!
Guess my hangover's are the same....
When it comes down to it. It's all about the penis. Freud was right. But what about the cunt? The lightning and the mattress... You may think I'm absolutely crazy, BUT here goes:
In the far way future, their will be no more "sexes." Everone will be both male and female. Will be able to procreate through self-replication, adjusting for experiment, etc. Color will be the same, a wave-effect prism outward glow. Each person will have all the nano/cyber/biology needed to achieve every point on the full spectrum of human pleasure. No one will say, "S/he looks different. Except in simple recognition of experimental outcomes. We will harness the the energy contained in the vacuum, bridge the gap between parallel universes and multi-dimensions; immortality will be quite natural in that we merely exist finally as "one in many" quantumm leaping here, cyber-living there...
In fact, God will come down and say, "Nice....job....kiddies...." Then he'll begin to slowing slap his hands together, until you realize he's applauding, slowly building up speed keeping time with his widening grin and eventual laughter of joy and applause, ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha, HA HA HA HA HA, NICE JOB, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, NICE JOB KIDDIES, HA HA HA HA HA, CLAPPING CLAPPING, UPROARIOUS ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE AND JOY!!!!
Then it's settled: Pizza! Jen just woke-up. Hangovers are best settled with pizza.
Well, well, well. What would Sunday mornings be like without John talking about his penis. I guess we'll never know. Hope the pizza warmed up well. (Or did you just do the cold pizza morning thing?)
We ordered out. Watched Return of the King on PPV (saw it previously in theatres), then we watched "In The Bedroom" with Sissy Spacek. Great flick. Small town justice meted-out like in "Mystic River."
Yeah, regarding my previous post, what can I say? Making a fool out of myself is something that I'm not quite finished doing I guess. Though I'm 36-years-old, I would never have guessed it if I was somehow introduced to myself in another guise.
One thing I can say about my 36th year is that it has been a very long one - I mean that in a good way. I mean, I still have the rest of this month and most of the next. It's been fucking great. I can't get over it in that all previous years seemed to have passed by in a blink of an eye, where I was disappointed at each birthday, in a sense, for having come so surprisingly too soon.
Bush is a dick.
Ha ha!!
I got one hour of snooze time last night. It's about time to turn to a drug for sleep. I'm giving this one more work week to correct itself.
good luck, ben. i often get insomnia, and it sucks. feelin' yer pain.
“There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during the month of January.....”
Not including Iraqis, of which I’m sure there were hundreds, there were 52 (47 US & 5 UK) military fatalities in January. But that was a light month. In April, for instance, there were 144 US & UK deaths, and 1157 coalition wounded. How many Americans and Iraqi children have had their lives destroyed?
“Germany never attacked us: Japan did.” We did not declare war on Germany, they declared war on us. Besides, they were beating the hell out of our allies, they posed a huge threat to us and the rest of the world, the were commiting geonocide, and they were allies with Japan. How would one go about attacking Japan but not Germany?
I believe it was FDR that said, “when your neighbor’s house is on fire, you don’t haggle over the price of the hose.”
“Truman...
finished that war and started one in Korea,
North Korea never attacked us.”
True. But North Korea crossed the 38th parallel and attacked our ally in South Korea. Similar situation to Iraq attacking Kuwait, which few seem to have a problem with.
“John F. Kennedy...
started the Vietnam conflict in 1962.
Vietnam never attacked us.”
When JFK was in office, we had troops in Vietnam, but were not really at war. JFK was then going to pull us out, but he was assassinated, at which time Johnson signed the paperwork recinding the presidential position. Fast forward, Johnson signed the Tonkin Gulf Resolution which took us into said war.
“Johnson...
turned Vietnam into a quagmire.”
Like Bush, Johnson was an idiot and cow-towed to special intrests. Like Iraq, corporations made billions off the war in Vietnam.
“Clinton...
went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent,
Bosnia never attacked us.”
Good thing. The UN and French were wrong.
But he had the support of NATO, which really has more to do with the area then the UN.
”He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three times by Sudan and did nothing.
Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions.”
I believe the first Bush was offered said head as well. I don’t know much about this, but even though Osama was known to be a terrorist at the time, I don’t think he had yet hit any US targets. Clinton probably fucked up, but it seems I read that the Saudis put political pressure on us not to take him.
“President Bush has:
- liberated two countries,” – Liberated? Hardly. Both countires are a friggin’ disaster and have puppet gov’ts. And liberating Iraq and Afgahnistan would be like liberating Indiana and Kentucky.
“- crushed the Taliban,” Whatever. They seem to be doing quite well.
”- crippled al-Qaida,” Sent in only 10,000 troops to ‘cripple’ al-Qaida and capture Osama. He let Osama, the guy that actually attacked us, get away, who is now rebuilding his organization with record recruitment because of the anti-American hatred Shrub has inspired.
Shrub sent over 100,000 to go after people that never attacked us.
”- put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran and North Korea without firing a shot,” He really screwed up the North korea thing. We had inspectors in there thanks to Clinton. When Bush added NK to the famed axis-of-evil, the inspectors were kicked out, and NK restarted their nukes program. It’s cost us a lot to get them back in.
”- and captured a terrorist who slaughtered 300,000 of his own people” So a guy that we put in power killed 300,000 of his own people, in what, 25 + years? How many Iraqis have we killed in 15 months? 15,000-20,000? Our numbers average out about the same.
And if you think Bush did this because he was saving the Iraqi people, then why aren’t we doing anything about the genocide in Sudan?
In any case, we can never survive in a world where the ends justify the means.
“It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take theBranch Davidian compound. That was a 51 day operation.”
Apples and oranges. We still haven’t taken Iraq. And the 51 days had a lot to do with trying to negotiate a peacful resolution. I’m sure our armed forces could have secured the compound in under two minutes.
“We've been looking for evidence of chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.”
And we’ll be looking for a lot longer. They don’t exist.
I’ve been looking for my passport for 9 months.
Ken Star spent $80 million of our money on a Republican witch hunt and got one indictment for obstruction of justice. Give me a hundred grand, and I’ll dig up something illegal on all of you.
“It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.”
He was drunk. I wouln’t have called the cops either.
“It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida!!!!”
The votes weren’t counted until 5 of 9 members of the Supreme Court ruled to put Bush into office. The Florida election was stolen by Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris.
Once the votes were counted, it was discovered, as we all already knew, that Dubya lost the election.
Our commander-in-thief is one of the worst things to ever happen to this country.
Well said Jibber. This is the biggest election I've ever had the chance to vote in. It's not right to have the corporate world dictate our government policies and rape our economy. It's sad to think of the feudal fascist state we will continue to turn into if Bush is re-elected.
I agree with Benjamin with his "well said, Jibber" comment. I like your comparisons to the Bush list. I really like the “He was drunk, I wouldn’t have called the police either”!!! After reading that – I agree 100% on that one!! Again, like I said, with an open mind, you can see both sides of a story. Also, it is just a list that I found on the internet. Like I said, you can find lists on any President or candidate (pro or con). I put “John Kerry bad list” into my search engine and came up with a lot of pages with a lot of information. I won’t link to any because you can do the same thing just as easily.
I guess a lot of these views depend on how you look at things. You can take the world as this huge monstrous situation and compare it to any of us as the individual specs on this planet and look at things very differently. On a world view – there is war, crime, political unrest, etc. Did Bush cause it? Would it have been different with Gore in the oval office? Who knows? On the personal and selfish view of my own tiny world – things are fine. During the Bush era: My job has been and is secure. My salary has risen from about $40,000 a year to about $49,000 a year. I was able to sell my previous home for a 27% profit and purchase my new home with an all time low 4.75%, 30 year fixed interest rate mortgage. I have had the freedom to have a part-time internet business that also brings in more income. That extra income allowed my to buy a nice sports car to go along with my “family cruiser”. I have the freedom to drink beer on my back porch any time I want to. I watch cable TV and take vacations. I have one cousin in the military (he is in Kuwait), but other than that, I don’t know any body in the war. I live less than two miles from my work, grocery stores, malls, etc., so the high gas prices don’t really bother me. For me (in my little, tiny world) everything is fine. Bush hasn’t damaged my world. I’m sure things would have been the same for me if Gore had been elected. I guess from a selfish point of view – It doesn’t matter. Things happen in the BIG world that may alter my LITTLE world, but you roll with it.
This has been a long story to say this: Deep down inside, I think Kerry is going to be our next President. I may not vote for him, but I think it will happen. Things in the BIG world will change. Lists will be made – Good and Bad. He will have triumphs and failures – he is human, after all. But, in my LITTLE, almost insignificant world, not much is going to change. I will still have my job, house, cars, family, etc. I hope all goes well with the BIG world, but I’m going to crack open a beer, sit back, lighten up and worry about MY LITTLE world. – David White
You live in Rivendell, sir. The elves don't look good when they worry. I'd much rather they continue their highly erotic processions through Lothlorien. See how slowly they move, almost floating upon the woodsy mist. But wait! Who's this? It's Nadalf. He has bad news. Mordor is throbbing like Kobe Bryant's shorts. Send in the clowns - don't bother - their here: There's Bilbo and Frodo and Comet and Vixen, Sneezy and Grumpy and Scarecrow and Blitzen; but (do you recall?) the most famous Texan of all....
"Bush is a big fat dildo. Plug him in and watch him drill. He wants to take Alaska; but that will never keep him still. All of them at Halliburton, want to test a nuclear bomb, that's one hell of a clean up, Mom I want a Viet Nam....
Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Nadalf came to say, Cheney with your stock so bright, won't you cum in my ass tonight?
Then all the Hobbits loved him, and they shouted out with glee. Cheney, the red-nose psychopath, you are worse than Kathy Lee..."
Well, at least, David, you admit what most people think. Complacency is ubiquitous. Ubiquity is complacent. And I'll quote from the movie "Barfly":
"Some people never go crazy, what horrible lives they must lead." --thank you, Mickey; thank you, Charles.
Paul Simon: "Nothing but the dead and dying back in MY LITTLE town..." Paul was raised in Uganda. But we have Bono on the African scene. He's taking care of AIDS. He cares.
Maybe the trick is not to think too far ahead into the future. Just try to balance things at hand. The Game, it seems, is for everyone to play--I think sometimes that no one can do anything wrong. Then, I read Aldous Huxley or Orwell or Bradbury or Rand. After reading them, I see how we teeter on oblivion--completely erased, not physically (who cares about "complete" destruction, as long as we all go...) but oblivion of the Mind as we know it or are used to it.
We trade it in for safety. We trade it in for uniformity. Therefore, we must somehow simultaneously keep morality in it's fucking cage, and still rid the world of evil people? How does this work?
Let's take a quick villian count: Bush, Cheney, and everyone into exploitation of fossel fuels for immense profits on the crushed and powdered bones of toddlers on their way to school, One. Two: all those involved with the torment of their fellow man. Three, those who ignore the problems; four, those who cause the problems; five, those who succumb to evil.
That leaves: a handful of Swiss. Maybe an eskimo, and two Australians. Total good guys = 8.
Now these 8 people, on their way to Heaven, after the world has exploded, are having a conversation with God:
"So, what are we going to do, Lord?"
"Um...whatever. I got Monopoly...um...Clue, ah! Risk! You guys like Risk?"
"Uhh...Lord? We have earned a place for ourselves in Eternal Paradise. Is there anything else you could think of besides Milton Bradley?"
"Sorry. I got it! Why don't we mow the lawn, I'll scrape the grill & fill the pool; and just when you're too sweaty and hot to breathe, you'll plunge in and I'll serve hot dogs and chips poolside!"
"........uh.......AWESOME!!!"
So, the choice is yours. You can toil now, over the world's problems and earn your heavenly reward. Or, you can do what everyone else does, in which case you shall die laughing. But DIE you will. Therefore, such laughter will eventually cease along with everything else; and above you--8 people who gave a shit, (or just didn't get caught up or ensnared in the Devil's cauldron), playing Yahtzee with the Lord of Hosts.
I look out my window, the sky is blue, my colon is full, I'm listening to ELO...what could be wrong. I shit, I admire the birds of the sky. And now, the pangs of guilt--yet, I've defeated guilt--is this a shadow? No. I want to fight because people will treat you as if you're crippled if you don't take what's yours.
Lennon: "Come and get your share!"
Cheney: "What the hell do you think I'm doing, you hippie scumbag."
That bitch. Cheney is making a fool of us all. He bombs a city and then rebuilds it. Win $ Win $ ...
So, God or no God, morality or not...that makes my blood boil. That motherfucker. He's making a fool of the world. This "business" world. Do we choose to see it as the unavoidable vehicle of progress? No one invented business, it just happened like Adam Smiths's Invisible Hand, perhaps.
So, even if we can't see all ends - do you want people like that breathing portions of your temporary blue sky?
But maybe there's a line of Cheneys and Bush's, maybe as soon as you knock one down, another pops up; defying the world, calling us pussies. The Pattons, the Napoleons, the Peter the Greats, the Roosevelts, the Vanderbilts, The Gettys, the Bin Ladens, these powerful history brokers. Are they representatives of genetic superiority? Where do they get off laying waste to everything the rest of the world holds dear?
Or are they just responding to demand? Do we tacitly approve of them? Is this how the Party system works: Fuck for 4 years, smoke a cigarette for the next 4; fuck the bitch again for 4 years, roll over and snooze; fuck, relax; doggy-style, cold beer; facial, T.V.
Sometimes I think that part of our morality is a conditioned response to clear our guilt, like saying, "No, I couldn't take that..." when offered money from your rich uncle. But we take it, we take it all.
Do we have a freakin' choice though? Bike to work, okay, in the rain? Okay, not when it's raining. Yeah, but it's dangerous, and I get sweaty. I don't like to bike. I like audio books and air-conditioning. Besides, I can't arrive at work smelling like I just came from the gym. Cologne? But I don't want to be exhausted before work. You'll get in shape. But. But. No.
And that's how I say no to biking, and yes to driving my car. My life style is carved in stone. I am like a petal on a flower that stems from Hell. I get the breezes, meanwhile, my slave, Cheney is working hard so that my fellow petals can continue to prosper.
Cheney, I owe you a long overdue thanks. Bush, you too. Thanks guys. You know, sometimes, it's like Animal Farm. I think that I can come in there and sleep with the pigs. But I catch myself. I'm a horse. I need to work. It's not much work. All I got to do is make like 600 a week and I get Deadwood, Bombay Sapphire, Hondas, new tunes, Pizza Hut, Porno, Amstel Lite, cool bars, paved streets, BBQs.
Falling in love was the last thing I had on my mind today. But a junkie needs to pause to thank his pusher. I love you, George Bush. I love you, Sloth. I love you, Ignorance. I love you, Insanity. I love you, Ms. American Pie!
Thank you John - that was one of most entertaining lyrical rants I've read in a long time. Your ADD inspired philosophy is unlike any other...
I am a petal as well - oblivious to what the stem is up to, but all I know is I'd rather be in the safety & comfort with all my fellow petals.
But what is the stem doing? Are we sure the stem knows best - I'm afraid of autumn.
Great compliment, thank you! Yes, Autumn...what then?
then we drink!
Yea! Heavy and a bottle of bread!
a one sentence post has inspired over 6700 words. maybe you should shoot for a one word post next time.
ooops, forgot to mention... Bush is a dick.
Bush is a dick.
Bush is a dick.
Vagina is a penis?
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